You know about the TSA 3-1-1 rule right? You can take 3 ounce or smaller containers on board in 1 quart-size bags with a limit of 1 bag per traveler. Me too, I know about that! So WHY did everything shut down in the security lines when my carry on went through? Why did all the security personnel break out into a chorus of “Code 4!” as if they were staging a musical? And why did they then suddenly shout in unison, “All clear!” And most of all, why was it MY SUITCASE that was put back through the little black tunnel before I was summoned to the examination table?  Oops! I guess a bottle of Trader Joe’s Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon would kind of look like a bomb if you didn’t know better. The young man was very sweet, suggesting that if I liked, I could take the bottle downstairs and see if my checked baggage could be reclaimed to serve as a proper receptacle. Well, as much as I liked the idea of arriving on The Big Island with said bottle in tow and making haste to the lanai with a glass of the lovely stuff, I couldn’t conjure up such frantic efforts for a moderately-priced bottle of wine. I already felt a bit chagrined. No need to add desperation to the mix. 

So off we flew, my friend, Sandi, and I to the Promised Land. Lovely breakfast of spinach quiche (yes, they do still serve meals on Hawaiian Air); pleasant, anticipatory conversation; and an Oscar-winning, inspiring movie (“The King’s Speech”). Oh, getting close now--time for the “confessions regarding your possessions” hand-out where you declare any fruit, plants, animals or extraneous gases on your person or in your bags. As always, I checked “None of the Above” only to remember that I’d brought an apple along. One apple. It would be so easy to deny a single Fuji, but that whole perjury clause was a bit unsettling. So I crossed out my first declaration and claimed the darn apple.

Wait a minute! Where is that apple anyway? I rummage in my bag and instead of coming up with fruity globe, I come up with a memory. Didn’t Sandi and I plaster that apple with peanut butter and down it as a bedtime snack last night? I have now declared under penalty of perjury that I have an apple I don’t in fact possess. Should I undeclare my re-declared declaration? Would that look suspicious? I entreat the airline attendant for guidance. She smiles and tells me, “Just cross it off. It’s fine.”  Sandi and I can’t stop laughing and are turning a few heads. Such onboard behavior is cute when you’re twenty-something, but I think there may be another name for it when you’re sixty-something. Refreshing perhaps?

As we flew into Kona, a pod of whales greeted us in the ocean below, our luggage awaited us, and a taxi was dispatched curbside within five minutes. Upon arrival at the condo, the manager greeted us and lugged our largest suitcases up the stairs. Sans wine, sans apple, I found a cold beer in the fridge and headed for the lanai. Let the Big Island Adventure begin! 

The Journey Is Always Better Together!